Thursday, December 3, 2009

Is it wrong to ask someone to borrow their wedding dress?

Is it wrong to ask someone to borrow their wedding dress
The ladies over at FabSugar recently asked the question "Is it wrong to ask someone to borrow their wedding dress?"

We thought this question might bring some BrideTide readers out of the shadows and compel them to chime in and comment. So our question for you is:

Would you ever ask to borrow, or let someone borrow your wedding dress?

We'ver very curious on everyone's thoughts.

18 comments:

  1. I'm perplexed by this. One one hand, I would want to help out a close friend if I could, but on the other hand, my dress obviously has sentimental value. I hope I never have to cross this bridge.

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  2. I personally would never ask to wear someone else's wedding dress but with today's financial environment, I bet this is happening more than most people think.

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  3. Hmmmm... I think the only person I would let wear my wedding dress would be my daughter.

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  4. Agree with the anonymous post above. More people are doing this than you think ;)

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  5. If they paid for the alterations, I'd be all for it. Silly to buy a dress, wear it once and never wear it again. THE DRESS WANTS TO BE WORN!

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  6. I think it is a little cheeky to ask to borrow someone's wedding dress. However, if it is offered then it is up to the individual to accept it or not.
    I personally wouldn't want the responsibility of another lady's dress.

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  7. Just Tacky. My dress was picked out with both my personal style and my husbands likes in mind. What's next, borrowing my wedding ring?

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  8. While it might be "Green" to re-use or recycle a wedding dress, a wedding dress is perhaps the one (public) garment that is imbued with so much emotional & psychological karma, selected with such personal detailed criteria, and altered to such a specific fit, that it simply would not "fit" a borrower on any level. (And, most bridal gowns are made with types of fabrics that do not let out with forgiveness making altering it to fit borrower & then re-altering to fit owner again not as feasible as one might think.)

    If a friend is in such need as to ask to borrow a wedding gown, perhaps instead of a shower, her friends could give the bride-to-be the money they would have spent on toasters, towels, and gag gifts to spend on the dress. Such generosity, of course, must spring spontaneously from the friends-- it's still considered pretty tacky to not only ask for "gifts" but to demand that the gift be money.

    The pageantry of a wedding, marking the occasion with spectacular gown is part of the ritual fantasy; however it is vital to remember that what really matters is the expression of love and commitment between the bride and groom.

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  9. 100% agree with Flowersbyfarha. Love the idea of giving the bride-to-be monetary donations instead of a regular bridal shower.

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  10. I could never see borrowing a wedding dress. However, I did ask a close friend if I could borrow her wedding veil as my 'something borrowed.' I did not want to spend the money on a veil as well and hers was almost exactly what I would have waned for myself..the same length and color I needed, too. She was honored and the only thing she said is "Just be really careful with it because all of my cousins have told me they want to borrow it for their weddings!" :)

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  11. If they are your relative or very, very best friend and their wedding gown has been just sitting in the closet for a year or more I dont see anything wrong with it. Maybe if they had just had their wedding a few months ago then I could see not asking.

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  12. I think that this is a personal decisions! Why not have the brides make some money on it... Rent them out! There is rental companies all over, that rent out gowns. If you paid all this money for your couture gown, and it just sitting there, Why Not! I would have rules..Must have it cleaned, No alterations, et cetera... However,the new trend is Trash the Dress, Why not get your monies worth first, and then maybe on your First anniversary have Trash Dress photo-shoot. Brides often think differently about the gown a year later.. Just my thoughts!

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  13. My mother-in-law's sister wants me to share my wedding dress with Her(my mother-in-law's sister's) Sister-in-law's daughter. I don't know them personally at all. In fact, I have never even seen them or their picture at all. But she just wants me to give it to her and I have so much feelings and emotions attached to it that I would hate to let anyone else wear the dress. Is there any polite way to say NO?

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  14. YES... buy, maybe, borrow, absolutly not!

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  15. I don't think I would ever ask, but if a close friend or family member asked me, I think I'd let them. Otherwise, it's just going to sit in a box or on a hanger in a closet for the next 50 years. It's not that I don't have an emotional attachment to my dress as it is very special, but it's also a dress, plain and simple. If it would make someone I care about happy to wear my dress, then absolutely.

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  16. I wouldn't ask someone to borrow their dress, but would have no problem letting someone borrow my dress! It's just sitting in a closet anyway, so I would love for it to get another use. While I would want it back, i wouldn't have rules like no alterations, because I want them to look as good in the dress as I did, so it needs to fit them. And I definitely wouldn't need it altered back to my size or anything like that, I'm not going to wear it again, so why bother! I think it would be a lot of fun and something cool a friend and I could share!

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  17. I recently received my dress which I was completely unhappy with. I put "Devastated I hate my dress" on twitter and had offers come from literally every married woman I know on twitter to come around and try on their dress and to borrow it if I like. I am so blessed to have such awesome friends. In the end I haven't taken them up on their offer but they did help me find someone who was able to alter my dress to make it more to my liking.

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